OnePlus promises a free phone if it delivers late – here’s how to slow it down

OnePlus is rushing a new phone to your side – if you live in the UK, specifically London – with a new deal that if it turns up more than an hour later, it’ll be free.

Tomorrow (January 21) will see you be able to get a OnePlus 2 or OnePlus X delivered by concierge in a central London location. But if the courier arrives later than the hour promised, your phone will be entirely free.

Henchman is the company delivering the phones to your doorstep and the service will only run in central London. To celebrate we’ve had a little brainstorm on how you could get a free OnePlus phone – so we have to stop these couriers. Obviously we can’t injure them, but here are a few of our ideas to do it.

1. Knock out GPS

If we take down all the GPS satellites serving London, the courier is much less likely to make it to your location. They’ll have to whip out the emergency map and no-one remembers how to use them any more.

2. Quickly set up a marathon

Marathon

The London Marathon brings the entire city to a standstill every year. The courier is going to struggle to get to you if every road they go down is blocked off with fancy dressed joggers.

3. Use your house boat

You need a proper address to receive a OnePlus courier delivery, so why not use that canal boat your mate owns? Take it out into the middle of the water for an hour long spin and technically your address hasn’t actually changed.

4. Melt tarmac around them

This is possibly our most complicated and dastardly scheme. First we need to work out where the courier office is, and then get some industrial heaters so we can melt all the tarmac near it. No way are those bikes getting through that.

5. Santa flash mob

Santa

You knew there was a reason you didn’t put the Santa outfit in the loft yet. Now you and your friends can stage a Santa flash mob right by your house to stop the courier from entering your road.

6. Hire a combine of mimes

Everyone is terrified of mimes. Hire a combine of the silent terrors and get them to surround the courier depot. If it works, no-one will be paying for their OnePlus.

7. Stage a crime scene

For this idea you will need chalk and some tape. Simple. Rig up your scene right at the end of your road and hire a few friends to act as muscle saying “nothing to see here” and you’re done.

8. Dress up like them and pretend you’re them from the future

Marty Mcfly

This one requires you to find out a few details about your delivery driver when they set off. But if you’re lucky enough to look a little like them they’re bound to stop when you run past in your underwear screaming you have an important message to tell them about their future.

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